today was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. the day that every little girl dreams of. i was supposede to be happy. but here i am. alone in my room with nothing but my computer i should br in a hotel making love to my new husband right now. i never thought today would be like this. i hurt worse than i have ever hurt before. im afraid to be alone for fear of what i might do to myself but i have nowhere to go and no one to go to. i wnat to die. i want to put on my wedding dress, od and just fall asleep in bed alone. i know it wouldnt even hurt him. he would feel bad but he wouldnt hurt the way i do. hge would go on with his life like i had never been a part of it. he would find some other girl and fall in love with her leaving me a distant memory of the the girl that sat in front of him in english.